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What's your oppinion on my rap?

  • RayK_2's picture
    says: (13 Aug '10)

    Just Say No


    When it comes to drugs, I wouldn't want to be wheeling a chair
    Scratching my head, I swear there used to be hair
    I got too much pride to be seeing impaired
    Never risking my life over the needles they share
    Because when you're caught up in the mix, people will stare
    I don't wanna be the guy with no life, drug dealing for fares
    Life loses control, and love becomes covered with fumes
    Imagine life as an addict, with nothing to lose
    Let this be a lesson to learn
    A lesson deserved
    Lessen the urge when your smelling something burn
    Do the right thing, walk away and never return
    Because nothing feels

    10
RayK_2's picture
on August 13, 2010

Just Say No


When it comes to drugs, I wouldn't want to be wheeling a chair
Scratching my head, I swear there used to be hair
I got too much pride to be seeing impaired
Never risking my life over the needles they share
Because when you're caught up in the mix, people will stare
I don't wanna be the guy with no life, drug dealing for fares
Life loses control, and love becomes covered with fumes
Imagine life as an addict, with nothing to lose
Let this be a lesson to learn
A lesson deserved
Lessen the urge when your smelling something burn
Do the right thing, walk away and never return
Because nothing feels better when you express it with words like-
People smoke, people choke
Lose a life, lose a home
Lose your lungs, lose your tongue
Or have a hole up in your throat
Like a game, you never know
The type of hand you're gonna roll
But i know, when I see drugs
All I have to do is "Just Say No"

I had to write this for a 6th grade drug project, and I'm only 12 so please judge the rap knowing that

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AnonymousG's picture

A+ Latch Key Child, better than you. True he's a lil older (13 when he dropped that Classic) Yea I'm hatin, if you aint got haters you aint doin nothin. So keep goin
lupeforlife's picture

why do ppl put their age? its not like were going to give you sympathy, but is alright i guess
Damien 'Wushu child' Pettit's picture

For a kid of 12 you have wicked 'vision 'for telling a story, I would agree with Malik that your strongest section is 'People smoke, people choke', reason being it's getting the point out in the quickest way - you don't 'over feed' your audience by laying out every detail but allow them to think and go with the Rhyme buy giving them snippets - that shows signs of a rapper being clever with Rhyme and lyrical content. But for 12, dude you would have wiped the floor with all the 15 year olds that used to rap in my play ground - keep it up, and keep that positive head on your shoulders
Blooberry's picture

Dude.. U're seriously 12? Awesome.. Nice lyrics hey
RayK_2's picture

to everyone, yes im reely 12 and i wrote this when i was 11
BlaZe_2's picture

are you sure you're 12? that's actually amazing for someone of your age. keep writing and hopefully you'll get somewhere one day.
9Lives's picture

Very well done. I'm in "Aw" and for a 12 year old, you're not bad at all. Keep writting because this is way better than rappers in the maintream. I hope when or if you record it, you have good quality sound. BTW, I love the concept.
on point's picture

u suck lol im playing good good job. record lil bro
Kevner's picture

malik said it best
Malik_3's picture

Record it and then post a link. The lyrics are cool. Glad you actually stuck with your theme throughout the entire voice. The rhyme scheme isn't as elaborate as I would care for it to be, but Ilike this part People smoke, people choke Lose a life, lose a home Lose your lungs, lose your tongue The only thing I can really say negative about is "Just Say No" is corny. Keep up the work though. Far better than a lot kids older than you.