Hurt Me Soul Rap Attempt? Check me out please :)! Lyrics Only

  • BeamingKnight's picture
    Hurt Me Soul Rap Attempt? Check me out please :)! Lyrics Only
    BeamingKnight
    says: (20 Jul '10)

    I only got lyrics, because I don't have a recording of the song. It's not finished yet but please give me feedback on what I got so far ;)

     

    It’s a tragedy, that we all live in fear

    Above us, one eye’s always watching, exciting to austere

    And as Humans, we can never compare

    To the great, for we can never share.

    With each other

    A girl, disrespectin her mother

    A boy, breaking his bone out of rage in his brother

    A nation, separated by greed

    A limitation, that we must not exceed

    And then you’ll notice,

    A model in the highest fashion

    While a hood rat is alone with his trashin’

    I start to wonder,

    6
BeamingKnight's picture
Submitted by BeamingKnight
on July 20, 2010

I only got lyrics, because I don't have a recording of the song. It's not finished yet but please give me feedback on what I got so far ;)

 

It’s a tragedy, that we all live in fear

Above us, one eye’s always watching, exciting to austere

And as Humans, we can never compare

To the great, for we can never share.

With each other

A girl, disrespectin her mother

A boy, breaking his bone out of rage in his brother

A nation, separated by greed

A limitation, that we must not exceed

And then you’ll notice,

A model in the highest fashion

While a hood rat is alone with his trashin’

I start to wonder, and wander as well

While to some this world’s heaven, to other’s it’s hell

 

I’m Talking bout, 10,000 dollar cuff link

Diamonds hit the floor, but do they help? Hardly.

Who would of that, diamonds claiming lives

But they can’t feed those who’ve deceased tonight

“But those who reject Faith and belie Our Signs,

they shall be companions of the Fire; they shall abide therein.”

Quote Unquote, from the holiest ever wrote

Forum category: 
Talk That Sh#t
Soun's picture

August 03, 2010 — Soun
oh & if ur serious about rappin' always believe ur "the next big star", but always tell urself that whatever song/lyrics u come up with isnt good enough/u can do better,always push 4 that higher tier & good things will happen...anything is possible with a "nod from God, & his Son on So/uN's side"
Soun's picture

August 03, 2010 — Soun
no but I am curently working on a mixtape & can send u a digital copy when its done if u want...just 2 give u a feel 4 it Its going 2 have varying styles such as B.o.B.'s airplanes, Ganstars Mass Appeal, & Lupe's Paris Tokyo, Jay-Z's Dear Summer, & Drake's Light it up...
no.body's picture

August 02, 2010 — no.body
The premise sounds good but I'd like to hear it recorded. A lot of what makes a verse great is the way that its delivered/flowed. Good job though penning the lyrics. Update us if you manage to record it!
jnwright's picture

August 01, 2010 — jnwright
Its a good lyrics. Nice words but I am bit confused about your point. I know its about status of life. Situation of life in this world. I am not good at lyrics also and I just wrote a couple of lyrics. What I'm saying is you should state it more clearer at more visible for listeners, you know what I mean. Still I appreciate the lyrics man! Hope I can write some good stuff like that.
BeamingKnight's picture

July 20, 2010 — BeamingKnight
Thanks for the feedback ;), I'll revise it, once I start actually recording it I'll hopefully get the right rhythm. So do you have a youtube channel where I can check out your raps?
Soun's picture

July 20, 2010 — Soun
sounds ok I am a future star rapper myself...it sounds like u left words out?...& if possible in my opinion u should use better "picture painting" descriptive words than "trashin'"...& if u record it u should time ur slow well & take pauses 2 emphasize a lingering thought on 1 thing & should say things like "am I right" making ur listeners question the ideas & views u present themselves...